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Mother Fuckin’ Liar

From a very young age, my mother told me that there was one type of people she could not stand: liars. Okay, if you’ve ever met my mother, you know she dislikes a lot more people than just those who are plagued with Pinocchio syndrome. However, in sticking with my last post’s theme, this article is going to explore a topic that many of us (myself, sometimes, included) struggle with: honesty. Because, as much as I hate to admit it, my mom was right about liars . . . and maybe a few other things in life.

To be fair, we’ve all told a lie at some point in our lives. If you say you haven’t, I’m calling you out right now: You’re a mother fuckin’ liar. No matter how big or small, we’ve all told some sort of a fib. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s determine exactly what can be considered “a lie.”

While the issue may seem to be pretty black and white for most people, it would appear that there is a gray area, lots of gray areas . . . 50 fucking shades of gray areas in regards to the vast land of lying.

Great!

For example, I (still) color my hair. Does that make me a liar? I don’t think so, because if you happen to stop me on my street corner and ask me what my natural color is, I’ll answer you truthfully: How the hell should I know? I started coloring my hair when I was 12, thank you very much.

Yet, to tell a lie is to “speak falsely or utter untruth knowingly, as with intent to deceive; to express what is false, convey a false impression.” Therefore, from cheating on tests (if you have seriously never cheated on a test, you don’t suffer from Pinocchio syndrome so much as Urkel syndrome) to cheating on your partner, when you attempt to hide something – anything – you’re basically lying.

Or, that’s how I’m taking Mr. Webster’s words to heart. As discussed last time: my website, my rules.

So, for sake of argument, it’s probably safe to say that 99.9 percent of the population (maybe 100 percent in Washington, D.C. – yes, my first and last attempt at political humor) lies on a daily basis. The issue becomes what kind of lie is being spewed, as well as the overall intent of the person telling the lie.

And, just like that, we’ve once again found ourselves in murky territory . . . Who is given responsibility (or power) for distinguishing the good lies from the bad ones. Or, more appropriately, the “safe” lies from the harmful ones.

Okay, I can take a hint. I guess I’ll take lead and be the power top of this discussion.

If you tell a lie that you know will later hurt someone when the truth comes out – whether it’s to a lover, friend, relative, acquaintance, or stranger – you’re a piece of dog shit. That plain and simple; that cut and dry. No gray area. Do not pass “Go,” do not collect $200, just . . . go fuck yourself.

By the way, something else my mother warned me about: The truth will always come out. It may not be today, tomorrow, next month, but, eventually, the truth will be revealed.

Now, you have to ask yourself, “Why would you knowingly want to hurt someone?” Are you that kind of person? Many may argue that they simply tell a lie to protect themselves. However, we all know damned well that when certain phrases are muttered, even when the motivation behind the phrase is solely self-protection, they still have the potential to harm. Phrases like: “I love you” or “No, I’m not dating or talking to anyone else” and “It’s really nine inches” are, according to Google, popular examples.

Let’s not forgot what our handy-dandy dictionary told us earlier: If you “convey a false impression,” you’re a liar. So, yes, if you falsely “convey” yourself as single when you’re not, straight when you’re gay, even blonde when you’re a brunette, you’re technically lying. Though, I feel like one of those examples may piss some people off  (as well as smash in the door for a much lengthier chat), so I’m going to move on.

Of course, there are other lies, white lies, that don’t have the potential to cause harm. Sometimes, these types of lies are considered “good,” or, in the least, “safe.” You know the ones: “Your baby is cute” or “I liked your performance” and “It was good for me, too.” The list goes on . . . and on, and on, and on. Interestingly enough, there can be times when it takes a lie to prevent harming someone.

Unfortunately, there’s a thin, red line between knowing when and when not to lie that many of us (myself still included) don’t know how to properly balance on.

To add more components to the already confusing equation, besides the definition of lying, and bad lying versus good lying, there is one more thought to consider: lying to yourself. Though I’ve touched upon lying to others, I haven’t considered the consequences of lying to yourself. As a result, I’m left wondering . . . Is it worse to lie to yourself? Or, is it worse to lie to other people? Or, are both actions (for the most part) one and the same?

You may think that when you lie to yourself, there’s only room for one victim: you. But is that correct? I’m not going to pretend to be a therapist, though, I have seen Girl, Interrupted – twice – yet, when we lie to ourselves, we typically create this dark, inner turmoil, often becoming angry, bitter, confused individuals. I don’t know about you, but I think it can be a real bitch to be around those angry, bitter, confused individuals.

And, don’t even get me started on those psychos who consistently lie to themselves, then start believing their own lies. You know the ones! You’ve heard them sing on American Idol because they’ve lied to themselves ( and believed it) about having a good voice. You’ve probably even seen them at the beach, sporting a bikini on what is not a beach/bikini-ready body. Or running for President of the United States. (Okay, political joke number two. No offense, Donald, but I know my audience.)

It’s interesting, to me, anyway: I started out writing this blog to hopefully better understand the people who lie, and why they ultimately choose to lie. But I’m not sure I succeeded.

Again, I’m not taking myself out of this mix. From hair dye to teeth-whitening strips, even my skinny jeans I can probably no longer pull off (I can’t, not alone, which is why I’m glad I’m not single), me too . . . I mean, I, too, lie. Hell, I’ve even padded my resume, said I only drank two beers when I really drank the bar, and faked being sick to avoid meeting a deadline.

And, truth be told, it’s been exhausting. That’s the honesty about lying: Lying is exhausting.

So, whether it’s being upfront about not completely understanding how the government works (guilty!), telling a friend they’re tone-deaf (again, guilty!), or revealing to your partner that you don’t actually like they’re cooking, time is up . . . I mean, it’s time to fess up and tell the truth.

Yes, there are many, many more examples of how harmful telling a lie can truly be, downright disgusting ones. But, to end on a positive note, let’s not explore those examples. Instead, let’s try to do better, and just say that telling the truth is a lot easier than telling a lie. And if you can’t agree with that statement, then let me leave you with this: Telling the truth is (almost) always the right thing to do.

Don’t you want to be a person who does the right thing?

 

 

 

 

 

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2 Comments

  1. Carrie Rae Modlin Carrie Rae Modlin

    I absolutely loved this article. You are an incredible writer. You have a very smart momma !! I love both of you very much. I’m going to be 100 % honest with you though, I still don’t think it’s necessary to use the fuc*** word etc. to get your point across. Other than that, this was AWESOME 👍👍👍👍👍♥️♥️♥️

  2. cutter cutter

    Hi Carrie,

    Thank you so much for your support! I’m glad you both read – and enjoyed – the article. That being said, I learned very early on in my writing career that in order to be a good writer, you need to be authentic. Whether necessary or not, using “colorful” language is just a part of me. Again, thank you for reading my work, as well as your very kind words of encouragement. I love you, too!

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